can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My vagina just recognized that song.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
