My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
