Jerry, you need to find god
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
