Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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