I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
