Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
