so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
