All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
