yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
