oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you will always have a special place in my vag
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
