you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
