im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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