if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize