we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
