So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
