Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
