hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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