How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
