do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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