I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
