I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
