I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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