Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am one with the molecules
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
