I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This is classic penis vs brain.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
