Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
