i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
