dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
