Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
