Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
