what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
