i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
