She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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