When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
