i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The Olympian is in my bed
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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