we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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