Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
