There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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