If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
