I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
