Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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