just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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