Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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