my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Watching her eat just hurts me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
