Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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