Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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