i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
