took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
