At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
