How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
