no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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