sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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