Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
